I be just a ordinary chap, bred from simple stock

I didn't go to Oxford or have a Batman darn my sock.

I never ave played polo or got a first degree

Or filled out an expenses form and timesed it all by three.

Now you do stroll down hallowed halls, white papers you have to pass

I da walk down to the ood, then get wum and cut the grass.

It surly is that thee must be a cleverer bloke than I.

But the last gooin on I be starting to wonder why

Cos you lots making noises just to make us doubt

If we ant got this MP thing a great yup arse about.

Now I may being stupid but yunt it just your job

To do what we do want you to, not to make us sob

How would you lot like it if someone said to you

To make us all a few more quid I'm selling off your loo

Perhaps you have a sunroom that we can put for sale

Or turn that massive Commons lawn into a pony trail

Of course it is just stupid to sell off someones land

So kip thee dirty maulers of our Forest, Mr Bland

Cos its here for the people for us all to enjoy

Not for Captain Virgin as some office bloomin toy.

Just do what your job spec says, before it gets too late

Stop hiding from your party's boss, put the bugger straight

Cos of all the daft great things thou hasn't yet got right

The biggest is to think that we won't put up a fight

Thousands of us foresters will rally to the cause

Remember we made thee matriarch shudder and then pause

So you now just remember or else theel end up prone

You wont beat us Foresters so leave us well alone!

The Forest Bard.