WELL Cllr Leppington, thy idea about contraception on the bores mite work, but while thou bist fitting the condoms on the hogs, doost thou theink that thou const stick a ring in there nose at the same time ta stop the beggers routing up the villages?

But as fer aving a goo at DEFRA thous might as well save thee time caus I tried that an i got refered ta the Forestry Com. and got the stock anser “we got mandate to cull aff of um” but nobody it av told me wear thay got thick ‘mandate’ vrom.

I got a better idea, as I av zed before, many times, cull the lot.

– A Beddis,  Pillowell