PAULINE Civil's attack on same sex marriage is a bit of a jumble and it is a battle the churches will ultimately lose. As I understand it, no faith community will be forced to offer same sex weddings; however it is likely that some will – the Society of Friends (Quakers) for example. Why should they be prevented?

Ms Civil's reference to the RC Archbishop of Westminster's Christmas message attacking same sex marriage leaves me a bit cold. The message from the Catholic hierarchy over centuries has often been so offensively anti progress that it is no wonder adherents have fallen away. I have been drawn to the Christian message because of positive themes of the birth of God-as-man and of his joyful resurrection. What we so often hear from so many 'same sex' bishops is a "Thou shalt not" theme.

Ms Civil's belief that marriage is "the legal union of a man and a woman in order to live together and often to have children" is a slight change from the official teaching of the church, which maintains that it is for procreation in the first instance. Were this to be taken literally ministers and priests would only marry those of child bearing age in the peak of health.

She also quotes the MP for Monmouth, David Davies, who stated that most people would prefer their children to be straight. He may be right but can I point out that being gay isn't a choice people make – like choosing the numbers on one's lottery card or the colour of one's tie? This is the thing that so many have to appreciate: gay people have not got out of bed one morning and said to themselves, "I think I'm going to be gay". Many young men and women face a terrible struggle in self-acceptance who and what they are. Quite often they are bullied and ostracised at school and have to face the indignity of stereotyping in the mass media, and homophobia from many within society – including many churches!

So I say this to Ms Civil, David Davies MP and His Eminence: if I had a son or daughter who happened to be gay I should love them with every sinew of my body and beat of my heart and I should desire that they find fulfillment within the love of another. If it was appropriate for them, they would have my support to present that love before God within the union of marriage. I challenge any parent not to think the same.

– Mark Parry, Coleford.