CATCHING up on back numbers of the Review, I was pleasantly surprised to read of our first lady freeminer. What a lovely clean-cut image she presents! With no dirt on her clothes, all nicely laundered and tidy, her helmet shiny and reflecting the light ­– not even any spatter on her glasses, she portrays just the right image of 'The Forest of Dean Theme Park' currently being promoted by both Forest of Dean District Council and the Forestry Commission. It looks as if she had come in off the catwalk and posed straightaway for the photograph. One can only wonder how many gales she will be buying with her special membership.

Compare this lady with the real freeminers. Always shown in filthy working kit, their faces begrimed with coal dust, white tributaries across their foreheads from sweat expended by their exertions and their clothes smelling from where they have been standing and lying up to their chests in stinking water when winning their coal. And don't they always look tired and weary in comparison with this fresh-faced lady. No! These dirty, honest, hard-working real freeminers are useless to the 'Theme Park' image.

However, the lady may have made a mistake in invoking the Equality Act to enhance her application. This could be the thin end of the wedge for the imposition of further pieces of silly socialism. How long before every free-mine will be compelled to offer breast-feeding, nappy-changing and creche facilities? – Cy Roberts,?Coalway.