Twus Christmas Day in my house,

Not a single sole in sight,

I bin waitin' ver Vather Christmas

Well! 'im should a called last night.

Me sprouts and spuds be cookin'

But cookin' skills I da lack,

I opened up me oven,

An me bird 'ave all burned black.

I 'ave made some lumpy custard

To pour on me Christmas pud,

I ought to a stirred in up some more,

I didn't though I know I should.

I operned up me kitchen door,

To let the smoke go out,

When I saw a mon we a long white beard

and to I, I 'eard 'en shout.

I've left thee some

Christmas presents,

Some whiskey and some beer,

Ave you a darn good Christmas

An' all the best

ver a brand New Year.

– Dave Harvey, Parkend.