Funny things go on in the Forest.

Well, watching the goings on at the Ruspidge 'Flat' football field is enough to keep one occupied for hours!

Since the famous sloping football field had it's short back and sides months and months ago, it is nothing but a book of not only comedy but errors!

Men come in trucks, usually two or three, they go, they come back, look at the field scratch their heads and go away. Weeks later they come back , have a poke and a prod and off they go again!

I think that simple things have been forgotten – water runs down hill. Now please correct me if I am wrong, but last time I looked Buckshaft lies above Ruspidge and the height between the two is quite steep, then the football pitch lies nearly in the base of the valley.

Even I can see that a few inches of rubble and a bit of pipe would not keep back the rain water that seems to be soaking up the pitch – mind (a good Forest saying) the grass is about three lovely shades of green – wet green – unhealthy green and just fed-up green!

The poor chap who had the job of laying the grass, went to roll it and as he did so it all came back up – too wet – his roller was stuck there for days!

There are also small 'bog' patches emerging on the pitch which is a great plus to all the frogs and wildlife, as they won't need to subscribe to Sky to see the match.

Now if the Ruspidge players ever get back onto the pitch, all well and good, and I hope that it was well worth all the effort, even though apparently it is now too small.

I still wonder how, when the ball is kicked over the edge of the pitch, will they get the ball back? A row of ball boys at the bottom perhaps?

The simplest way to describe the steepness of the one side is if one imagines the sloping tide walls at Minehead – yep, pretty steep.

As you stand at the road end of the pitch, the other side is just as the old sailors saw the edge of the world at sea in ancient times, a shear drop, not to be approached for fear of one's life or in this case one's ball.I don't exaggerate, look for yourself.

Houses? Mmm that has been a thought, perhaps a sneaky way of getting it passed for planning? One layer of foundations on there and it would be like the landslides of a gravel heap.

Now I really do not mean to sound negative as I love living in this beautiful Royal (of which is not used enough) Forest of Dean, and actually do like local football but some things really do take the biscuit, and I am afraid Ruspidge football field is one of the soggy ones that got dunked too long.

– A Ruspidge resident (name and address supplied).