THE Thornwell Burnt Barn Football Club would like to express their sincere thanks to all the selfish and inconsiderate dog owners who have visited our playing fields at Thornwell recently with their four legged friends and deposited expressions of support and good luck all over the field. It is gratifying to know that you care. Judging by the amount deposited our teams will win every home game although there are already some rumblings of discontent from visiting teams who do not have the same advantage at their grounds.
The training schedules of our junior teams from age six years upwards has been improved enormously by your support as unselfishly ignoring all thoughts of disease and unpleasantness they bravely practise their dribbling skills around the piles of dog excrement. We now offer prizes to the players and spectators who can avoid stepping into the mess. We have only had one winner in each category so far although both are in dispute as the player won by remaining in the dressing room and the spectator won by staying at home.
Before each game a sponsored poop scoop is held, there is no shortage of sponsors but we are finding it difficult to recruit participants for this unhealthy and unpleasant task forced upon us by inconsiderate dog owners.
Finally this unpleasant mess reflects upon us at Thornwell Burnt Barn Football Club and the community of Thornwell and Bulwark as a whole when visitors to the club take home a memento of dog excrement to deposit in their car and homes.
If these people who exercise their dogs on a playing field wish to support the football club and the communities of Thornwell and Bulwark whose children use the playing fields they will keep their dogs off, or are we being so naive as to believe that these selfish people have any interest in anything except themselves and their four legged foulers? – G.P. Horder, Western Avenue, Bulwark, Chepstow.